i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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