hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
