thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
