Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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