I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
