Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
there is glitter all over my balls
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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