i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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