We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
