Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
