I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
