every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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