My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
