Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i barfeds in our rink
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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