Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize