Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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