Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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