They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
