it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize