he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
