you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
