I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
