Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
