If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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