You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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