I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
