3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
