In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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