Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
