Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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