I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Of course I have a pirate flag
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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