I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
