how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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