Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i dont even know how to be here
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
