I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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