my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
