you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
