Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You can't just leave with hair like that
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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