If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
