when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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