it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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