Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
