some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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