ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
