My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
