Your tits are I can't wait for
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
