So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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