Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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