Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
