i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
