Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
