yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
