let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
