I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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