Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
