You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
