Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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