you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
