you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
