Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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