she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
