He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dicks are not precious.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
