i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
